I Waited Until Connections to Cry


As much as I hate to admit it, I wear my emotions of my sleeves. When I’m passionate about something it makes it extremely difficult to mask how I’m feeling. So during 1st academic today when I heard my voice crack as we worked through writing expressions, I mentally talked the tears back.

It’s a hard realization when the celebration you had one week becomes completely overshadowed by students unwillingness to pause and think and make sense of what they see. I mean it’s November, we’ve had at least 3 months of tasks, guiding questions, reflections, rubrics and more. Yet as I stood in front of my students I made mental leaps of whys and hows and what the’s.

Two classes down. During planning time I sat at my kidney table going through work samples submitted by students. Two teammates walked in questioning if I were okay, prompting the tears I had been holding back to overflow my downcast eyes. The feeling of failure tormented me. All those negative thoughts that my ego had been warding off filled my mind.

What do you do once you’ve done all you can do? What do you do when you feel you’ve failed at the one thing you believe you’ve been put on this Earth to do?

You cry, wipe your tears and try again…